If God is so loving how could He destroy all of those people in the Old Testament including women and children?

   First of all, the scriptures affirm that God is morally perfect.  He is holy (Isaiah 6:3, Revelation 4:8), just and righteous (Psalm 89:14), and good (Psalm 100:6, 106:1).  In view of this, one is initially inclined to be puzzled at certain commands that Jehovah gave in the Old Testament.  When the Israelites were commissioned to take the land of Canaan, the Lord instructed them to completely smite (destroy) the people thereof and to show no mercy unto them (Deuteronomy 7:1-5).  Accordingly, when Israel invaded Jericho, for example, we are informed. "And they utterly destroyed all that was in the city, both man and woman, both young and old, and ox, and sheep, and ass, with the edge of the sword” (Joshua 6:21).  When looking at this passage we must take some things into consideration. First, God has been very patient with these grossly immoral pagan tribes for a long, long time.  When Abraham first came into the land of Canaan, the Lord promised that this country would someday belong go his seed, but it could not yet be theirs for "the iniquity of the Amorite is not yet full," declared God (Genesis 15:16).  It is though the sins of those heathen people were gradually filling up a container; finally, a point was reached on the Lord’s moral barometer which he could no longer tolerate.  If judgment against evil is not executed quickly evil will increase and hurt more of the innocent.  They must be destroyed.  It was thus not a violation of his goodness; rather, it was to preserve it!

   The false gods these people worshipped had absolutely no concept of morality. They represented and practiced vile sex acts and influenced others to do likewise.  It is little wonder that the evidence indicates that the Canaanites followed their gods in such abominations!  In the Canaanite religion, homosexuals and prostitutes were employed to raise money for the support of the temples.  It is not an exaggeration to say that these pagans elevated sex to the status of a god (that sounds almost modern, does it not?)

    The Canaanite religion was a horribly brutal system as well. For instance, the goddess Anath is pictures as killing humans by the thousands and wading thigh high in blood.  She cuts off head and hand and wears them as ornaments.  And in all of this gruesomeness, the Baal-Epic says that her liver was swollen with laughter, and her joy was great.  In this connection the morally depraved Canaanite also sacrificed there own babies to these heathen gods.  Funerary jars have been found with the bodies of young children distorted by suffocation as they struggled for life after having been buried alive as a sacrifice to Canaanite gods.  Such young children have been found in the foundation pillars of Canaanite houses, and sometimes religious ceremonies were associated with their sacrifice.  It must also be important to realize that the destruction of these wicked people was for the moral preservation of the nation of Israel.  When they invaded Canaan, the Hebrew were not to allow enemies to lice "that they teach you not to do after all their abominations, which they have done unto their gods; so would you win against Jehovah your God" (Deuteronomy 30:18).

    Since the salvation of mankind was at stake the extermination of the wicked inhabitants of Canaan was, therefore, an example of moral surgery in order to save pagan practices of their parents.  These children were victims because of the evil of the parents.  In view of eternal judgment these children were treated fairer by God than if allowed to live.  We have a difficult time understanding this but God is not willing for any to perish (2 Peter 3:9).

IMPORTANT NOTE:  In Genesis 6 we see that fallen angels came down and apparently had sexual relations with women on earth and created a race of demonic giants.  See the video :Return of the Nephilim".  The human DNA was tainted in various tribes.  A number of Biblical scholars say that these tribes that God said to totally wipe out had their DNA so tainted that eradication was the necessary action to take.  It was for the greater good for mankind!